Holding it + traffic = problematic

I was humiliated on the way to work the other day. There was tons of traffic because of an accident so I couldn'tgo anywhere and I really had to drain the snail. Unfortunately I didn't have any rubber bands in my car, so puttingoff the draining for too long was not an option. I had a Snapple bottle and I held it by my wienie to see if I could possibly swing peeing in it. Judging from the volume of the bottle and the akwardness of the position necessaryto piss, it was apparent that the bottle was not an option. So I try to hold it hoping it will go away, but it doesn't. At this point I am on a bridge with a divider on my right and cars on another road to the right of that..... wide open. I say to myself well at least your wiener is pretty small so not many people will see it.

There is no more delaying, so I pull off to the side next to the divider. To my chagrin the divider gives little orno shelter from the cars on the other road, while my car shelters me from the other cars. I realize I am out of optionsand do the only thing I can. I kneel down (to conceal my peeper behind the barrier) between my car and the barrier and let it flow.

It seems like ten minutes pass, and I know people are watching.

Pissing on my knees wouldn't have been so bad if my thighs were longer because then I wouldn't have splashed peeall over myself, and my boss wouldn't have been like hey what's that smell and then I wouldn't have had to sayI don't know, I smelled something funny when I came in here.